Monday, May 21, 2007

Henri Does Naked Ladies on Cruise Ship

I love 21st century.

I was visiting my friends - Cyn, Sandy and Millie, three great broads who gives Henri good times - and they were telling me about these naked ladies who are on cruise ships.

Henri has never been on cruise ships, but by what they tell me, they're a really good way to get across great bodies of water and explore new and foreign territories. But, another good thing is that they have fun on cruise ships which involves naked ladies.

Oh la la!

So, we all four made a date for a cruise ship that was going to foreign territory they call Barbados, and the girls were going to meet me there.

I told Juicy I was going to book event that would be totally boring and I knew how she hated those things so she decided it was for good cause, and I think she accepted it hook, line and sinker. Henri was telling what 21st century mortals call a little white lie.

Get four writers together and it's an event, n'est paux?

Early the next morning, I meet the girls in the lounge of the cruise ship as they are drinking their Margaritas and waiting for Henri to appear.

Might I say, they are a do you Americans say this...hammered?

I look over at Cyn who is hanging on to long, shiny table as if steadying herself and she says, "Henri! Did I ever tell you that you look great in white?"

I know at that point it is going to be fun trip for Henri.

"So, girls, where are naked ladies?" I ask.

Sandy turns to me and says, "Henri, you want to see naked?" and begins to pull off ample filled blouson in which Millie grabs her and shakes her silly.

Millie does that when the girls get out of hand, but sometimes Millie does not know that this would cause great pleasure to Henri.

Anyway, the bartender asks the girls if they want another drink and you should have seen look on his face when Cyn said, "Yes, please, and Henri will have a Coors Light."

But, he is professional so he turns to the area where he is making drinks and proceeds to make three more Margaritas and pours a Coors Light into frosty mug for Henri.

He places the four drinks onto the long, shiny table and Cyn pushes the beer to where I am standing. I am not sure why bartender runs from room when he sees Henri pick up mug and drink. Maybe he does not like Henri in white like Cyn does.

We all share laughter and drink our drinks, but Henri wants to see naked ladies really bad since this is why Henri came in the first place, not knocking the girls as they were quite pleasurable to look at even with their clothes on.


So, Henri decides it's time to check this naked ladies out and leave the girls to explore where naked ladies are hanging out.

As I do not know exactly where in the hell I was going, I go through many floors and down many corridors to find them. Just when Henri is about to give up, I see many ladies go into a room and close the door behind them.

I figure that must be it!

Many hours pass and I hear familiar voices. It's Cyn, Sandy and Millie who have come to take me to other places of pleasure.

"Henri!" shouts Millie. "Don't you know you're not supposed to be in there?"

"But.." I stammer, "I find naked ladies!"

I do not why they think it funny but after they point out sign that reads "Ladies Rest Room," I figure I did not find same naked ladies they are talking about.

But, Henri has good time anyway.

One thing confuses Henri. After ladies push metal handle on chair where ladies are sitting, why does Henri end up in the ocean every time?

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Blogger elysabeth said...

I love it - sounds like my kind of cruise - lol except I don't want to see naked ladies or naked men for that matter - I'd just love to go have some fun - oh well - If I don't scoot my hiney in the chair and sit down and work I'll never have any fun - so goes life

(PS- Henri, that is indoor plumbing and they are called toilets. We no longer have outhouses for the most part - still have what we call portable potties (portapotties) for outdoor events where no restroom is located - but they are a different story all together - E :)

May 21, 2007 at 12:11 PM  
Blogger Henri de Montmorency said...

Ahhh...indoor toilets? What will they think of next??? That is so tres cool! Thanks for the heads up, my little adorable Elysabeth friend. ;o)

May 21, 2007 at 12:59 PM  
Blogger Amy Ruttan said...

A naked cruise? The cruise I went on didn't have any naked people, but of course it was a more family friendly cruise.

They did have a private island and an adult beach. I also got very hammered in the sun, and sunbathed nude on the balcony of my cabin.

Being from Canada, Henri, my skin was very white and turned very red the next day.

Your jaunt was very amusing! I do love hearing about your adventures.

May 21, 2007 at 4:05 PM  
Blogger Henri de Montmorency said...

Mon bon bon Amy!! Merci tres beaucoup for stopping by Henri's place. And the next time you sunbathe nude, think of ol' dear Henri and give him a call. Oh, include the invite with Coors Light, mon cherie!

May 21, 2007 at 4:42 PM  
Blogger Kathy Holmes said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

May 22, 2007 at 8:48 AM  
Anonymous Ronda Del Boccio, "The Story lady" said...

Tres amusent, mon ami!

But I think maybe if you stay with the ones who get "hammered," you will have a lot of fun because people under the influence of so much alcohol tend to do crazy things.

I prefer to keep my sobriety and watch the fun, myself.

Ronda The Story Lady" who is thinking of all sorts of fun questions to ask you for your guest ghost-writer interview next week.

May 28, 2007 at 9:23 PM  
Blogger Henri de Montmorency said...

Mon bon bon Ronda!!! I cannot wait until my tour begins. I've been visiting long lost relatives in France over the past few days and didn't have a computer to type on, but Henri shall return to blogging tomorrow!

Au revoir,
Henri de Montmorency

May 28, 2007 at 9:28 PM  
Blogger elysabeth said...

Ah Henri,

I was about to comment on the fact that you had been away for so long and that the naked ladies must be fried by now being out in the sun having all that fun - lol -

Welcome back and looking forward to seeing what your visits with relatives has turned up for you - E :)

May 29, 2007 at 12:55 PM  
Blogger ERiCA said...

Henri, Henri, Henri...

*shakes head*

*hides a giggle*

*shakes head again*

May 30, 2007 at 6:41 AM  
Blogger elysabeth said...

Dem ladies must be well-done by now - They've been on the ship for 10 days and not coming to port - poor Henri - now he can't touch the ladies if he wanted to - lol - because lobsters are mean creatures - lol

looking forward to more from Henri - E :)

June 1, 2007 at 4:22 AM  

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