Henri Does Caridad Pineiro

After my depressing night at Boo Drop Inn on Mother's Day night, I woke up this morning with Mom flying over my head. She loves to scare the crap out of Henri, especially after a night of partying. Gives new meaning to hangover.

As soon as I crawled out of bed, she was gone in a poof. I don't know why she does that, but I was glad she woke me up because Juicy and I had plans for the day to go check out a haunted house she said she found in the valley. She said I had to take garlic with me because there might be vampires, too. Juicy knows how I hate vampires, but Juicy being Juicy, I agreed to go.

Grabbing my garlic, I flew out of the house and into the valley.

Juicy was nowhere to be found.

Figuring she was playing a game with me, I decided to go along with it and head to the haunted house by myself. To get to this house, I had to go through town and past the park. But while I was going through town, a big poster in one of the shops caught my attention. It was some author by the name of Caridad Pineiro. I looked closer at the poster and wouldn't you know it - she was a vampire author!

My bones started shaking. I couldn't imagine anyone who put vampires in their books, those blood thirsty animals that wouldn't think twice about sucking every drop of blood out of your body until you were completely drained of what life you had left. I knew all about them.

I was curious to see what this vampire-writing woman looked like, but I froze in my tracks to the point where I couldn't move.

Suddenly, there was a tap on my shoulder.

I jerked around and who but appeared - and it wasn't a sleigh full of reindeer - it was the vampire writer herself.

"You can see me?" was all I could say. My teeth were chattering so hard, I was surprised I got that much out.

"Of course I can see you, Henri," she smiled.

I still didn't trust her. How did I not know she wasn't a vampire herself?

I clutched my garlic into my fists so hard, they become liquified.

"Henri, come here," she said, waving me to a bench, "I'd like to talk to you."

I looked around for help. How can anyone save me if they can't even see me???

I watched her walk over to the bench, sit down, and pat the other end for me to join her. She was beautiful. Raven-colored hair and a cute little Spanish accent, so Henri being Henri, I slowly walked over to the bench and sat down.

"Henri, why are you scared of me?" she asked. My cover as a suave, sophicated ghost was blown.

"I will cut to the chase, Mademoiselle Caridad," I said in the most gentlemanly fashion. "I'm afraid of vampires. Are you one perchance?"

She laughed a little too sexily if I might add and said, "I'm often asked that question, Henri. People think that to write as many books as I do, I never sleep and must therefore be a vampire, but I do sleep and most certainly do not drink any blood."

"But, how do you know for sure someone is and isn't a vampire?" I just needed to know, you know?

"Well," she said, brushing back her raven hair, "modern vampires like those in The Calling are certainly harder to tell apart from the silent movie, 'Nosferatu.' They are paler and avoid the strongest rays of the sun, but other than that, they blend right in. The lack of reflection is still a good way to tell as is the chill of their skin."

I had forgotten that!

I quickly looked at the windows of the shops across the street to see if I could see her reflection. Wouldn't you know it a cloud was passing over and I had to wait until it had passed. Damn the luck. I guess I had to wait. I wanted to touch her golden hands to see if I could feel a chill, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

I knew the only way to find out was to keep her talking until the cloud passed over and I could see if I could see her reflection, and I would know, for sure, if she was a vampire for real or not.

"So, Mademoiselle Caridad, is it true that garlic can keep vampires away? I mean, have you ever used it yourself and did it work?"

She laughed, which I found...très réveillant.

"Garlic will definitely make them shy away since it weakens them when they ingest it," she said, giving me quite an erotic look. "I did have to use it in Darkness Calls. The hero, Ryder Latimer, is having dinner at an Italian restaurant (can we say a rough call just because of all that garlic) and the heroine offers up a delicious basket of garlic bread. Poor Ryder! He controlled the urge to run and because he wanted to impress her, he ate the bread anyway, causing him the world's worst case of agita."

I'm listening to her talk and as I'm listening, the damn cloud is moving at -100 mph. In other words, it's going nowhere. I must keep her talking so I ask her about this book of vampires. As an author, I know this will keep her busy for hours.

"So, this book," I continue, "is full of these blood-thirsty varmins. Can you tell me what it's about and where I can get it if, perchance, I get over this fear of vampires?"

"BLOOD CALLS is all about one very dark and intriguing vampire – Diego Rivera," she replied, running her hand down her long, sensual leg which was driving Henri très sauvage avec passion.

"He was betrayed during the Spanish Inquisition and turned into a vampire. The experience has convinced him that he was saved so he could be a better man and so he’s strived to do that up until now. The heroine, Ramona Escobar, really tempts him to put the bite on her. Believe me, it’s Diego who is the one who is biteable! In fact, I think she puts the bite on him first. Did I mention, Henri, that there’s a very old, but incredibly sexy vampire named Stacia who might be just right for you? You can read about her online – DESIRE CALLS – at eharlequin and she’ll be back for more in 2008! Since you’ve both been around for some time, you might find it fun to share your experiences."

Stacia? The name was ringing a bell. No! It can't be! Stacia, the beautiful vixen who had her eyes on me in Boo Drop Inn? The one who kept trying to kiss me on the neck when Juicy wasn't looking??? I KNEW she was up to something!

I steadied my nerves, casually looked up at the cloud and heaved a sigh of relief...it was passing!

I had to keep her talking.

"So, if you weren't writing about vampires, what would you write about?"

I know lame question, but I was running out of chitchat material.

"I love romantic suspense and am definitely working on a longer novel of this type," she replied, inching her skirt up higher (or maybe it was Henri's imagination). "It will involve an Army CID officer and the murder of a Senatorial hopeful that is possibly connected to the military. Can’t say more or I’d have to kill you . .. oh wait. You’re a ghost so that might be a problem."

Did she say...kill? I laughed out of courtesy, but inched my way further down the bench, not too obvious-like, and lo and behold, the cloud moved and the sun finally came out. I strained hard to see if I could see her reflection and, sure enough, there was a woman sitting on a bench talking to someone who wasn't there. This made Henri laugh.

And breathe a little easier.

That's when Henri started becoming a little more like Henri, the ghostest with the mostest.

"So, you write about vampires. Do you think they're sexy? What about French non-hump back ghosts? Can you see us having a fling sometime?"

There. I said it. All the moves she was putting on me, it was time I started making my moves on her.

"I do think vampires are sexy," she cooed in that cute little Spanish accent. "It’s that sharing blood thing that’s so intimate. It’s like sharing the most vital, most personal thing that you possess – kind of like sharing your soul. As for ghosts, definitely a yes, Henri only . . . You can get corporeal, can’t you? We do need a way to share some loving, although being French, I assume you can whisper sweet naughty things in my ear . . ."

I can do a lot more than that, baby.

But, I didn't want her to think I was hard up. After all, I did have Juicy who deprives Henri of sexual delights, but still. It's not like I couldn't get no one. I am a player, remember?

I inched myself closer. I could smell her sweet perfume that turned Henri into a pile of ectoplasm.

"Soooo...Caridad, my sweet...what do you think of those vampires who hang around the mall? Aren't you scared of them? I mean, I'm not of course, but...."

I knew she was feeling the Henri vibes. She took my hand in hers and said, "Mall vamps, huh? Someone has been pulling your leg, Henri, although with modern vampires, they could be anywhere at anytime – except possibly high noon. I’m not sure even a vampire elder could stand that much sun. Stacia is a vampire elder and she’s fairly powerful. Strong enough to convince you to hand over your platinum American Express so she can pick up some nice stilettos and a little leather. Maybe you should avoid the mall when she’s around."

And Boo Drop Inn? Never. Not when I had my trusty clove of garlic to protect me. And not even vampires could stop me from visiting my girls at Victoria's Secret.

"Maybe you're right," I sighed, feeling the warmth from her hand in mine, "but, have you ever come across a vampire you just didn't like?"

She laughed, causing her eyes to sparkle and the smile...oh the smile...ohhh laaa laaa.

"In FURY CALLS, the first of the 2008 releases, you will definitely meet a very nasty and different kind of vampire – a kiang shi – a Chinese vampire. This dude is totally bad because Chinese vampires are people who were totally evil to begin with. That’s why they’ve been cursed and become vampires. Kiang shi even look different when they transform – all white fur and glowy red eyes. The villain vampire in FURY CALLS is totally up to no good and trying to get even with Diego, Ryder and some of the other favorites from THE CALLING. The kiang shi doesn’t like that vampires are becoming too human and finding love."

She was totally into this vampire thing and I so wanted her to focus on Henri, the ghostest with the mostest, so I said, "Do you ever write about ghosts and have you ever thought about naming one Henri?"

I know it was bold, but why not? I wanted her to keep talking. I wanted to her to feel the Henri vibes. I wanted...to be a mortal for just five minutes.

"I hadn't thought about it - I'm still waiting for your answer on that whole corporeal thing," she smiled sexily, "but you are definitely very charming. And that French accent - ooh la la, but I could see the women swooning when you whisper sweet nothings in their ear! So you are definitely in the running for a future hero spot."

That was it. I couldn't take it anymore! If she wanted to put Henri in her next book, I was so there!

Just when I was starting to make my moves, I saw...Juicy. Standing by the storefront, looking as if she was quite annoyed at dear, sweet, innocent Henri.

I quickly leaned over to Caridad and whispered, "I've got to go. Do you think...well...is there any way possibly that..."

She didn't let me finish. Juicy snatched me from her and dragged me down the sidewalk but before I got too far, I heard Caridad's last words to me...

"I'm all yours, Henri. Just say the word and I'll be there."

For a vampire lover, she sure did know how to capture Henri's heart.

I did find out that you can buy any of her books at Amazon, Barnes & Noble or even your neighborhood ghostly bookstore. You can even check out her website at www.caridad.com or watch her interview at www.romancenovel.tv.

Tomorrow, I shall look into it, but for now, I wish everyone a good night. I know my night is going to be very, very sweet.

Caridad...Caridad...come back...come back...

Tags: The Search for the Million $$$ Ghost, ghosts, Henri, the Ghostest with the Mostest, Caridad Pineiro, Blood Calls, vampires