Henri Does Time in the Dog House

Henri is in the dog house.

And it wasn't even my dog house.

It was my good friend Boo's dog house. Seems he had the misfortune of being caught causing mischief in town by his wife at about the same time I was caught schmoozing with Caridad Pineiro, the sexy vixen who writes vampire novels, and we figured we'd camp out awhile until the whole thing blows over.

Or, the dog wants his house back.

See, I was innocent but found guilty. A few lousy questions about vampires and Juicy decided I was having an affair. Just because I was conversing with a beautiful vampire-writing author and Juicy gets all bent out of shape. Just because Caridad tells me as I'm being dragged off against my will by Juicy that I could have her anytime. Actually, her words were, "I'm all yours, Henri. Just say the word and I'll be there."

Means the same thing.

I can't help it if I'm desirable. It's a curse, I know.

But, what really blew everything out of the water was what was printed on the front page of the Ghostly Times this morning, and this is why I'm sitting here in the dog house with Boo, who won't stop his incessant whining about how women are the curse of the earth, whichever plane you happen to be in.

According to the Ghostly Times, someone leaked the story out and Henri became the talk of the town and Juicy says now she can't hold her head up in public. I don't seem to have any problem with it and I don't see why she just can't get over it and get on with it.

I mean, it's not like we're attached at the soul or anything.

I'm a free ghost and can come and go as I please. I guess that doesn't explain why I'm sitting here in the dog house with Boo, avoiding Juicy and trying like hell to make conversation with a ghost who believes that the world would be a better place if men ruled the universe and not women and he could do as he damn pleased.

I guess it just depends on your perspective of things.

If men ruled, we'd be able to leave the hopper seat up without someone yelling that they've just fallen in.

If men ruled, there's be no one pointing their finger at you when you're wrong.

If men ruled, we'd make women go out and buy their own damn tampons.

If men ruled, beer would become not only one of the four food groups, but all of the four food groups.

If men ruled, Margaritaville would become a national landmark.

If men ruled, we could do as we damn please and let the women go to work and see how much fun it is.

Well, I guess they already do, but you get the picture.

So, I'm sitting here with Boo drawing straws as to who gets to tell the dog it'll be a few more minutes.

Meanwhile, if you want to know what was in the headlines this morning, hop over to Caridad Pineiro's literary agent's blog and find out. Her name is Caren Johnson and I hear she's easily fancied with Henri.

Hmm...wonder what she's doing after I get out of the dog house?

Tags: The Search for the Million $$$ Ghost, ghosts, Henri, the Ghostest with the Mostest, Caridad Pineiro, Caren Johnson