Friday, May 18, 2007

Henri Does Time in the Dog House

Henri is in the dog house.

And it wasn't even my dog house.

It was my good friend Boo's dog house. Seems he had the misfortune of being caught causing mischief in town by his wife at about the same time I was caught schmoozing with Caridad Pineiro, the sexy vixen who writes vampire novels, and we figured we'd camp out awhile until the whole thing blows over.

Or, the dog wants his house back.

See, I was innocent but found guilty. A few lousy questions about vampires and Juicy decided I was having an affair. Just because I was conversing with a beautiful vampire-writing author and Juicy gets all bent out of shape. Just because Caridad tells me as I'm being dragged off against my will by Juicy that I could have her anytime. Actually, her words were, "I'm all yours, Henri. Just say the word and I'll be there."

Means the same thing.

I can't help it if I'm desirable. It's a curse, I know.

But, what really blew everything out of the water was what was printed on the front page of the Ghostly Times this morning, and this is why I'm sitting here in the dog house with Boo, who won't stop his incessant whining about how women are the curse of the earth, whichever plane you happen to be in.

According to the Ghostly Times, someone leaked the story out and Henri became the talk of the town and Juicy says now she can't hold her head up in public. I don't seem to have any problem with it and I don't see why she just can't get over it and get on with it.

I mean, it's not like we're attached at the soul or anything.

I'm a free ghost and can come and go as I please. I guess that doesn't explain why I'm sitting here in the dog house with Boo, avoiding Juicy and trying like hell to make conversation with a ghost who believes that the world would be a better place if men ruled the universe and not women and he could do as he damn pleased.

I guess it just depends on your perspective of things.

If men ruled, we'd be able to leave the hopper seat up without someone yelling that they've just fallen in.

If men ruled, there's be no one pointing their finger at you when you're wrong.

If men ruled, we'd make women go out and buy their own damn tampons.

If men ruled, beer would become not only one of the four food groups, but all of the four food groups.

If men ruled, Margaritaville would become a national landmark.

If men ruled, we could do as we damn please and let the women go to work and see how much fun it is.

Well, I guess they already do, but you get the picture.

So, I'm sitting here with Boo drawing straws as to who gets to tell the dog it'll be a few more minutes.

Meanwhile, if you want to know what was in the headlines this morning, hop over to Caridad Pineiro's literary agent's blog and find out. Her name is Caren Johnson and I hear she's easily fancied with Henri.

Hmm...wonder what she's doing after I get out of the dog house?

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Blogger ERiCA said...

I can't help it if I'm desirable. It's a curse, I know.

Bwa! Henri, honey, je t'aime! =)

May 17, 2007 at 11:01 PM  
Blogger elysabeth said...

Hum - me thinks you just like keepin your friend company, Henri. I didn't see anything on the blog or in the article that would get you in the dog house. Perhaps ghosts would rather haunt the doghouse than the people house. As for Boo, don't you know that men are usually guilty by association - all you have to do is be associated with a person having a grand time or scaring the pants off someone and you are just as guilty as they are.

But you weren't even going to Juicy's house anyway - you were with the human for her Coors Light as it is. Not sure if the dog house is better than the people house but it must be for you and Boo to stay there so long - hope you get out soon and Juicy doesn't stay too mad at you - lol - E :)

May 17, 2007 at 11:04 PM  
Blogger Henri de Montmorency said...

Ahhh...Mademoiselle Erica!!! Thank you for stopping by to see innocent bystander who could do no wrong Henri. Don't tell Boo, but women really do rule, mon amie.

Au revoir,
Henri de Montmorency
The Ghostest with the Mostest

May 17, 2007 at 11:07 PM  
Blogger Henri de Montmorency said...

My dear sweet Elysabeth, love of my life, I am so happy you see it as it is. I am innocent. Methinks Juicy needs to take the green scarf off her eyes and stop being so demanding of Henri when Henri is simply trying to find out about vampires and having a good time. I will have a talk with Juicy...when I think it's safe to come out.

Au revoir,
Henri de Montmorency
The Ghostest with the Mostest

May 17, 2007 at 11:11 PM  
Blogger Candy Minx said...

Bonjour Henri, merci beaucoup for dropping by my blog and leaving a comment!

Very nice to "meet" you. I see your blog is fairly new, I hope you meet lots of interesting people and sell lots of copies of your book. I will go to amazon and check it out!

Au revoir!


May 18, 2007 at 9:22 AM  
Blogger Amy Ruttan said...

Pauvre Henri, maybe Juicy is a little over sensitive and maybe a little insecure being that you're so handsome and all!

Hopefully Juicy isn't made anymore, sending you lots of Coors my bon amie! Aurevoir! Bonne Nuit.

May 18, 2007 at 5:21 PM  
Anonymous Ronda Del Boccio said...

Povre Henri! I have no idea why Juicy is so possessive. You have, indeed, done no wrong other than being a ghost of - shall we say - diverse tastes. Flirting is aceptable in any age.

If Juicy will not speak to you, perhaps Ezra will?

"The Story Lady" of

May 20, 2007 at 5:07 AM  

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