Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Henri Does PG Forte

Ohhhh…la….la….I get to interview an EROTIC ROMANCE AUTHOR. Can we say this is up Henri’s alley?

I’m over here at Camp SoYouWannaSeeAGhost. I arrived on Monday and checked in. I had to materialize so that the camp directors would realize the baggage I was carrying didn’t have a life of its own…haha. But they know Henri is a ghost, how do 21st century mortals say everything’s okay? Ahhh…it’s all good.

I arrived on Saturday and I’ll have to go into the details when I’m not in so much hurry, but the gang loves me. No one knows I’m a ghost yet and I’m having fun playing Casper with them. More details later.

In a few minutes, a big author is coming to the camp to be interviewed by moi as she’s on a virtual book tour and couldn’t wait until I returned home.

I made sure the kids were on a field trip so that I could have her complete attention.

It was time to meet erotic romance writer, so I grabbed my picnic basket and headed out back. It was beautiful. I even had a babbling brook nearby for a nice atmospheric touch.

I spread the blanket out and sat down, trying to remember what important things to ask her…like…was she single? Very important question to single Henri.

And there she was. She was beautiful.

I jumped up and shook her hand.

“Nice to have you visit our little camp,” I told her. “And your name is PG Forte, is that correct?”
I didn’t want to put the moves on her too fast; I knew how to work it.

"Yes, that's right," she says. "It's a pleasure to meet you Henri."

"Likewise! And can you tell us what PG stands for?"

"Sure. But, I have to warn you, it's not nearly as intriguing as you might think. My original first and last names are very long and I'm somewhat lazy so I shortened them all the way down to their initials and added my husband's last name, Forte."

"I love it! Shall we begin by asking you what your latest book is about?"

"Okay. Waiting for the Big One is about what happens when one woman's quest for true love and ultimate pleasure is complicated by two gorgeous men.

"The woman, Gabby, is an aspiring actress and a dog walker. Up until now she's refused to even consider her best friend--a very sexy, Scorpio Yoga instructor by the name of Derek--for the role of soul mate because she's afraid sex will ruin their friendship. Both she and Derek are playing a waiting game and getting pretty darn sick of it.

"When Gabby meets Zach, the super-hot, rock guitarist who's just moved into her building, she's convinced her wait is finally over. It's up to Derek to convince her that he--not Zach--is destined to be the big love of her life."

"And why did you decide to write erotic romance? I know the subject comes up frequently, does it not?"

"Yes, it does! LOL! My wonderful critique partners pushed me into it. They dared me to write an erotic short story with an Astrology theme for a contest. They knew I can never resist a challenge."

"I understand you are on your last week of your virtual book tour. What have you thought about it so far? I know tour coordinator can be a slave driver. Do you think she’s a slave driver, too?"

"Oh, not at all! But, then again, I've been called the Queen of Angst and Torment due to my treatment of some of my characters (mostly my heroes, I must admit) so perhaps she and I are extending each other some professional courtesy? We slave drivers have to stick together you know. LOL!

I've been loving the tour. It's so much fun to visit all these sites and chat with such interesting characters, such as you, Henri. ;)"

"Oh, you make me blush! How important do you think it is to promote your book? I always thought the publisher would do that for me. What are your thoughts on that?"

"Oh, yes. In a perfect world authors would be free to devote themselves solely to writing. In this reality, however, we have to wear several hats. And while publisher promotion is invaluable for a book's success no one is going to push your book harder (and perhaps better) than you.

Besides, I think I'd miss interacting with my readers if I left everything up to my publisher or someone else."

"Okay, I have a question about promoting. I write paranormal because if you didn’t know it, I’m a ghost. Boo! No, really I am. Don’t be frightened; think Casper, the friendly ghost. Anyway, I write paranormal and I was wondering what you would suggest to me to get more sales?"

"Oh, I'm not frightened. I have several ghost characters myself. I'll have to introduce you.

As for sales...ooh, that's the big question, isn't it? The things that have worked the best for me, in the past, have been online events (such as this book tour) ads and reviews."

"Now, that title, WAITING FOR THE BIG ONE. What exactly are you waiting for?"

"Well, it's Gabby who's waiting, but why don't I let her tell you about that in her own words?"

So, there I was, stuck at yet another red light, when it hit me. It wasn’t just me who was waiting and it wasn’t just now. All of Los Angeles was in the same boat, all of us, all the time, waiting for the big one.

For most of us, that means our big break, our shot at seeing our name in a star on the Walk of Fame. It’s the role that’ll lift us out of obscurity. It’s the hit that’ll soar to the top of the charts. We’re all hopeful romantics--like Kathleen Turner, in Romancing the Stone. We’re always certain it’ll happen with the next deal we make, the next audition we go out on, the next person we meet.

Take me, for instance. Any day now, with just a little bit of luck, I could go from being plain old Gabby Browne, aspiring actress and dog walker, to Academy Award Winner, Gabriella Giacomo.


And if fame doesn’t get us, no doubt the earthquake will. That’s the other thing everybody’s waiting for, the big eight point, nine point, ten point shaker that scientists say is bound to occur. The one that’ll rock this town to its knees. Even hopeful romantics have to admit it seems inevitable. How could any place with this much surface glamour not be doomed?

But this morning, I was waiting for something a little more personal. I was waiting for The Big O: the elusive, G-spot, ultra orgasm, the kind I’d heard about, read about, yearned for, but had not yet experienced.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not as if I’d never had an orgasm or anything. But, to date, they’d all been the standard issue, plain vanilla kind. Nice, but nothing I couldn’t give myself any day of the week if I wanted. What I was hoping for was something more life-altering, soul-searing, rock-my-world passion. I knew it was out there, waiting for me. All I needed was the right guy to help me find it.

I knew he was out there, too. He was my Twin Flame, my Split Apart, my Tantric Soul mate; the man who would love me madly, passionately, loudly. All night long. They say good things come to those who wait, and I was certainly counting on that being true, but he was taking a long time to get here, and I was growing impatient."

"Ooooh, la, la! Okay, now that we’ve talked about your book and promoting that book and the big one, let’s talk about PG Forte, the woman. Are you single?"

"No, I've been very happily married for quite some time to my own very sexy Scorpio--who didn't mind at all that Gabby and I poked fun at his Astrological sign. ;) "

"Do you play around with ghosts?"

"I guess that would depend on how you define 'play'."

"Would you like a date sometime?"

"Henri, if I'm ever single again, you'll be the first one I call."

"Okay, okay, I’ve interrogated you enough, mon ami. Can you tell everyone where they can pick up a copy of your latest book, WAITING FOR THE BIG ONE?"

"I'd be happy to. You can purchase it (along with the second book in the series, Love From A to Z) direct from my publisher, Liquid Silver Books (http://www.liquidsilverbooks.com/).

Here's the direct link to my titles:
http://www.king-cart.com/cgi-bin/cart.cgi?store=linda018&category=P.G.+Forte "

"Thank you for coming to my little abode in the woods, PG, and hope to see you around reeeeal soon!"

"Thank you, Henri. I hope to see you again soon too."

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